And Oodie Makes Five
by HalfASlug
Summary: The Doctor may have a reputation throughout this world and the next for being a bit reckless and impulsive, but even he sometimes forgets that Rose 'I'm going to need to steal that axe for a minute' Tyler isn't all that much better.


_A/N: Hello! This is an idea that I got from a prompt on tumblr and is basically a giant ball of fluff because why not?_

 _Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with the BBC or RTD._

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It was nearly midnight when the Doctor was finally using his home-made sonic screwdriver to unlock the door to the flat that he and Rose shared. He had a key, obviously, but what was the point in a sonic screwdriver if you didn't use it?

Besides, he'd lost the key months ago. And by 'lost', he meant 'vaporised in an experiment to make it sonic'.

It was an over-run experiment that had made him so late home tonight, one that had ended with similarly unexpected results, though thankfully not as permanent. As much as he loved fighting aliens with Rose, there were times when she had meetings or training sessions that he simply didn't care about. Meanwhile, the Torchwood archives and labs were filled with things for him to tinker with and interesting people to help him. The first time he'd gone back to her office raving about the skill level of some of the scientists she'd told him how happy she was he'd found friends. Pete said he was glad that he'd found a place in the company that kept him out of the interest of the increasingly intrigued press.

No one was entirely sure what his official role at Torchwood was as his time was split equally between the laboratories, diplomatic relations, field work and acting as Rose Tyler's PA. It suited him fine. Whenever middle management types that hadn't listened to Pete about his approach to paperwork (under no circumstances will the Doctor _ever_ approach paperwork), tried to track him down he was nigh on impossible to find.

Tonight had been spent in one of the labs with a small group of his new-found friends, trying to fix a bit of alien tech that Torchwood has secured after it had landed in the Netherlands. He'd had a hunch as to what it was and, as usual, had been in charge. While they didn't know the whole story behind how he was born (well… grown), the group were aware that he wasn't entirely human and his knowledge of extraterrestrials was vast and usually spot on. This, however, had been one of the rare occasions the Doctor had been wrong and it had taken a while to sort out.

Now, with the lab cleaned and the provided equipment repaired, the only thing left was to explain the incident to Rose. The Doctor wasn't worried. He'd been walking slower simply because he'd never really appreciated the corridor before.

Weighing up the benefits of sneaking in against those of acting as though everything was fine, he opened the door, half hoping Rose was already asleep.

Unfortunately, she was standing on the other side of the door, smiling at him.

"Hi!" she greeted him brightly.

"Hello." The shock of the hall light had him squinting. She'd never before met him so suddenly, especially as late as this. It all reminded him of those terrifying robots they had throughout the Stepford Galaxy.

"Good day at work?"

"Um, yeah."

The Doctor still hadn't made it properly over the threshold, but Rose made no sign of moving. Even though she was used to him showing up at all hours of the night by now and never minded providing that she had some warning, he wondered if maybe he'd misread the entire situation. Maybe she'd been getting steadily angrier each time and had finally snapped?

It didn't really explain why her smile, the one that normally lit up the entire room, was a bit too fixed at the minute to illuminate a tiny cupboard.

Shuffling through the door, the Doctor removed his coat slowly, as to not spook her. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Fine! W-why wouldn't I be?"

There may have been gaps of years where they hadn't seen each other, but the Doctor still knew Rose Tyler well enough to know that that last response contained all of her tells and she was keeping something from him. If she'd just laughed nervously, then he wouldn't be worried, but she'd gone the whole hog with the stuttering and avoiding his eyes. By the time she'd fiddled with her earring, he was genuinely quite scared.

"What?" she asked, shrugging. And pursing her lips together.

The Doctor swallowed. What the hell had he walked into?

"Rose," he hedged, moving to grip her upper arms, "what's going on?"

"Nothing!" she insisted with that unnerving laugh. "Why?"

"You're acting weird."

"No, I'm not."

"You are."

"M'not."

"Rose."

As the Doctor stepped forward to allow the front door to close, Rose darted towards him and slung her arms around his neck. He arched his left eyebrow.

"Missed you," she breathed.

"And I missed you," the Doctor replied, stamping down on the swooping feeling in his stomach so he could remain serious, "but you, Rose Tyler, are hiding something."

It was while Rose was halfway through rolling her eyes that there was a distinct scratching noise from behind the closed kitchen door.

"Aha," grinned the Doctor while Rose's shoulders slumped.

"Fine." Rose bit her lip and swayed a bit on the spot. She was trying to butter him up and, if it wasn't for the trepidation in her eyes, she'd probably be doing a very good job. It'd been a very long time since the Doctor accepted that he was perpetually contorted so he sat in the palm of her hand while simultaneously being wrapped around her little finger.

"So..."

"I may have - _accidentally_ \- sort of..." Rose drew in a deep breath. "... adoptedfivecats."

Being proficient in several million languages meant the Doctor was faced with the reality that Rose had just informed him in English that she had adopted five cats or had asked him in Slovdak if he'd marry her knee's cousin. After a moment spent trying to get his mouth to form words his brain had yet to process, he decided to settle on the most likely, though he had no idea if it was his preferred situation.

"You've adopted-"

"Five cats," Rose nodded. "Yep."

There was a stretch of silence, broken only by the continuing scratching noise against the door that the pair of them were deliberately ignoring.

"Right, I'm going to need some more information, Rose," the Doctor said, extricating himself from her arms so he could hold her hands.

"Like what?"

"Well, I've been around enough to know that the adoption of _one_ cat very rarely happens completely by accident."

The scratching noise was joined by an insistent meowing and Rose opened the door to reveal a tiny kitten with eyes that were quite possibly bigger than it's entire head.

"Do you remember that charity thing the other month?" she asked, bending to scratch the kitten's ear.

"Yeah."

He didn't.

Rose sighed. Apparently he was as transparent to her as she was to him.

"The one in Kent?"

"No cocktail sausages but there were those tiny dessert things with the goo inside?"

"That's the one. Well, I got talking to the woman that runs this cat shelter, right? And she was telling me all about it, saying I should visit to see where the money gets used and all that. So I did."

After trying desperately to get Rose's attention, the kitten decided the whole endeavour hadn't been worth it and and scurried into the dark kitchen. Rose stood, looking put out.

"That was Oodie," she explained. "He's a bit shy."

"You've started naming them?"

"Of course I have!" Rose followed Oodie, turning the light on as she went.

The Doctor edged into the kitchen, bracing himself for cats to be on every surface, but was pleased to see there was Oodie and one other, darker haired cat. Upon seeing Rose, it hurried over to her and began rubbing itself against her calf.

"So how did popping in for a cuppa end up in you coming home with five cats?"

"Look at them!" Rose insisted, picking the cat next to her up.

"I am and they look like cats." The Doctor grimaced. "Mistrustful, arrogant creatures with a fondness for iffy medical practises."

"Bobby here was abused! Look at his ear!" Rose held the cat in question closer to him. Sure enough, part of his ear was missing and his back showed signs of recently healed injuries. "He needs a proper home."

That infamous note of Tyler steel had crept into her voice and the Doctor could see how the day had played out perfectly. Suddenly falling into a world in which she had more money than she could ever spend, Rose had spent most of her time here giving as much of it away as possible. Being shown legions of abandoned animals was only ever going to end one way with Rose. In fact, watching her cuddle Bobby, he wondered how she'd managed to limit herself to five.

His sympathy was diminished somewhat when a brown blur launched itself onto the counter next to him. On closer inspection, it wasn't a blur, but an almost fully grown mountain lion. He jumped away from it and bumped into a chair.

"Oh, don't worry," Rose said as he rubbed his shin, "that's just Cilla."

Cilla glared at him, hissing quietly.

"And does Just Cilla happen to have a taste for complicated events in time and space?"

Rose ignored him, putting Bobby down next to the food bowls in the corner that hadn't been there when he left this morning.

"I know it's sudden and I should have told you," Rose sighed, "but I couldn't just leave them there. Not when we have all this space and money."

Sensing that she probably needed one, the Doctor gave Rose a hug, which she gladly returned, her head resting against his single heart. "Think about it, Rose, all the travelling we do? We can't really drag five cats along with us."

"I know," she mumbled into his shirt. "But we can work something out. A cat sitter? Or mum could look after them? She always loved feeding the strays back on the estate. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

The Doctor waited for Rose's words to catch up with her. When they went away it was very rarely planned in advance, often happened first thing in the morning and more than once in the dead of night and almost never with a return date in mind. The idea of showing up at the Tyler estate with five cats at three in the morning and asking them to be looked after for somewhere between a couple of days and month would have been funny if it hadn't been so terrifying.

"I got a bit carried away, didn't I?" Rose asked quietly.

"Kind of, yeah. You were a bit impulsive and irresponsible and - oh." His eyes went wide and Rose shifted to look at him. "Is this what it's like living with me?"

Giggling, Rose scooped up a cat that had just jumped onto the kitchen table. Much to the Doctor's annoyance, it licked Rose's hand, making her giggle even more.

"I suppose," she shrugged. The cat in her arms fidgeted until she held it closer to her and started licking her face.

"Why does it keep licking you?" the Doctor asked, doing his best not to scowl.

Rose was too busy nuzzling her new friend to even look at him. "Jack's a bit friendly is all."

"Jack."

Recognising his tone, Rose actually laughed at him while _Jack_ snuggled against her chest. Jack made eye contact with him and the Doctor swore he knew exactly what he was doing.

"Are you actually jealous?" Rose snorted.

"He's in _my_ spot!"

"He's a different species!"

"I'm a different species!"

Rose made a face at him. "Don't say it like that."

"But-"

"You can name one of them if you want?" she offered clearly trying to distract him. "I've left one just for you."

She put Jack down on the floor and he darted out of the kitchen. It was hardly a surprise, but the Doctor was still annoyed that he appeared to have gone into their bedroom.

"How about this little one?"

The Doctor looked to Rose, fully intending to tell her that he wanted no part in this madness, when he saw her picking up a tiny ball of grey fluff from under the table and held it out to him. Without thinking, he took the ball from her and held it comfortably in one hand as he used other to stroke it. Slowly, the ball unfurled to reveal a sleepy face, tiny white paws and startling blue eyes.

"Mi'en," he whispered as the kitten blinked up at him.

"Sorry?"

"Can… can we name her Mi'en?" The Doctor tore his eyes away from the kitten to see that Rose was staring at him with the understanding and kindness in her eyes that captured him when he first met her all those lifetimes ago.

"Meyan?" she repeated.

" _Mi'en._ "

"Mi'en?"

The Doctor smiled at her proudly.

"Is that Latin or - or Greek or something?" Rose asked, biting her thumbnail and taking a step towards him.

"Something," he replied. For a moment, he couldn't look at her and instead concentrated on the kitten attempting to burrow under his sleeve. Although he'd trusted Rose with his life for almost as long as he'd known her, there were still some things he was reluctant to share. Even now, after everything they'd been through, after everything they'd lost and gained, there were still parts of him too raw to be exposed to her light.

"Oh," Rose said, scratching Cilla behind the ear. The beast shot her a withering look and stalked away from her reach. "Okay."

Hearing the poorly disguised hurt in her voice, the Doctor felt his heart shrink. This was the woman who had given him everything, who fought to get back to him and had even brought him back from the dead.

Old habits were hard to break and his shutters still fell shut at the slightest provocation, but he'd learnt long ago that letting Rose Tyler in didn't make him more vulnerable. Whether it was the devil himself or his personal demons, believing her in her gave him more strength than anything he'd ever known.

"It's Gallifreyan," he said, forcing himself to make eye contact. "Mi'en. It's Gallifreyan."

Rose froze, clearly having not expected an answer, and he did his best to not do what his mind was screaming for him to do and change the subject or run away.

"What's it mean?" she asked as though she knew what he was thinking and was trying not to spook him.

"Well… it's always hard to translate exactly into English, seeing as you don't have nearly enough tenses and everything," the Doctor explained, "but it means 'blue.'"

"Because of her eyes?"

"Yeah," he whispered for some reason.

"That's actually why I picked her," Rose told him, moving closer so she could fiddle with the hem of his suit jacket. "Reminded me a bit of you."

The Doctor smiled at her, knowing she didn't mean _him_ exactly. He supposed he should feel jealous but it was hard to when she was looking at him like that and standing so close that he could smell her shampoo.

"So can we keep them?" she asked, looking at him from under her eyelashes.

He sighed. "I suppose one or two wouldn't be so bad. We could give one to Tony as well. Maybe someone at work? That way you'd still get updates and photos and things."

Rose bounced on the spot, grinning from ear to ear. She was well into her mid-twenties but still acted like a teenager sometimes. Which was lucky, really, because so did he. Obviously Jackie disagreed, especially when they'd start pea fights at the dinner table, but he found it difficult to care.

"Yeah, but which ones?" she asked, her eyes wide. "How can we pick just two?"

"How about we leave it for the morning, Sophie?" he suggested, eyeing up Cilla over Rose's shoulder. While a couple of the cats were admittedly a bit cute, there were certainly some that he'd miss less than others.

Before Rose could respond, Mi'en began purring. She leaned over the tiny kitten and tickled her belly, causing her to purr louder.

"Could you teach me some more Gallifreyan?" she asked, deliberately not making eye contact with him.

Tensing, the Doctor quickly ran through a list of reasons in his head of why he shouldn't bolt, when he realised he actually had no desire to. In fact, the only thing he had to fight against was the lump in his throat.

"You could never be fluent," he explained, hoping she missed the crack in his voice. "No human could. But the odd word or phrase..."

Rose looked up at him, her expression unreadable. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he whispered.

"You don't have to," she said, holding his hand. "If it's too much, then it's okay. I just thought it'd be nice to keep it going, yeah?"

He looked at their hands, wondering how a person so strong could be so gentle. "No, you're right. It'd be nice to pass it on one day to the kids. I mean, cats. They're not as trainable as dogs per say, but a couple of commands shouldn't be beyond them. We'll probably never get them to sit, but a good old 'please stop attacking me in my sleep' wouldn't go amiss."

Her hand had squeezed his at his slip up. There was no way she hadn't noticed. Everything in the kitchen was very still, except his heart. That was beating so loudly he was surprised the neighbours weren't complaining.

"You want to teach Gallifreyan," Rose asked slowly, "to the cats?"

"Yep."

"The cats that can't talk?"

"Hmm." He nodded too enthusiastically.

A smile spread slowly across Rose's face that the Doctor suspected had nothing to do with the language capabilities of cats. It made him feel a bit light-headed.

"Why not?" she laughed, kissing him briefly. "One day. When the cats are ready."

"Of course."

He kissed her properly then. Despite his impressive vocabulary, some things couldn't be put across in any language he knew.

He set Mi'en down by the food bowls so he could pull Rose into a hug, which she gladly returned with her arms sliding under his jacket.

"You know," he murmured, kissing the top her head, "you have successfully distracted me from your _accident._ "

"I learnt from the best." She shot him a wink before taking a step back, her tongue teasing the edge of her grin.

He watched as she bent down to mother Bobby who had wandered back over to her in need of attention. Seeing her looking after something so small… it was no wonder he'd misspoken earlier. He'd given up on all of that, even went as far as to tell Donna that that part of him had died, but this was a new life in a new world. A new new _new_ Doctor. This was his gingerbread house and anything was possible.

"Oh I forgot to mention earlier - remember that thing they found near Rotterdam?"

"Hmm."

"We worked out what it is. Well, Neema did," the Doctor amended as he spotted Oodie skulking by the fruit bowl. He picked up a banana and the kitten. "Brilliant, that woman is."

"What was it?" Rose asked, still paying more attention to Bobby than him.

"It's a Molshtik toy. Well… more of a prank," he explained. "I should have spotted it, really, but they changed all of the outside of it. They do tours of our solar system back home. Must be the same here. Some cub probably dropped it and is missing it."

"Poor thing."

"I wouldn't feel too sorry for it. It got me before we worked it out," he said ruefully. "So that's why I won't have any nipples until tomorrow morning."

"Oka- _what?_ "

Despite Bobby hitting her hand with his paw, Rose's full attention was now on him.

The Doctor grinned at her before looking down at the cat in his arms and backing into the living room. "Hello, little Oodie. We're not going to cruelly experiment on humans, are we? No, we're not..."

Without looking back, he left Rose blinking in the bed of cats she made herself, safe in the knowledge that whenever he jumped into something feet first, he probably wouldn't be jumping alone.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading!_

 _In case any of you were wondering, the prompt was "I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats." Also, I've been writing this on and off for about two months and it wasn't until last week that I realised I'd named one of the cats Billie (*pretentious writer voice* Where does my inspiration even come from? It's madness...) So yeah. Nearly 2 months of forgetting Billie Piper exists. Oops._


End file.
